It doesn't take much surfing on the cost of having a baby to make your head spin.  Seeing just how much "the experts" say babies cost their first year inspires another decade of birth control.  The bare bones truth is you have a huge amount of control over most of that deep pocket digging and can direct how much money you spend on Junior.  One of the many mercies of this financial preparation is the baby shower.

If someone has offered to give you a shower, accept the kind gesture.  This is no time to shoulder the entire burden of collecting baby stuff on your own--if a friend offers a helping hand, let them.  Most likely she will include your registry location on the invitation to help guests see the gifts you need.  It sounds like a perfect system, but wandering the aisles of Megababydom is intimidating--and you have no clue as a first-time parent what to select.  Take it from someone who has far over-bought and misspent well into the hundreds on baby stuff.  You must keep the following tips in mind before getting scan-happy:

1. Investigate the return policy.
Many big-name stores have drastically changed their tune when it comes to returns and exchanges.  Even though you are bringing them hundreds of dollars worth of revenue, they are adamant about no exchanges of any kind without proof of purchase.  Target is the absolute worst.  Some allow a return if the product is on your registry.  Ladies who haven't experienced trying to return three Bumbo chairs don't know how crucial it is to include a gift receipt because it's never been a huge hassle in the past.  Know exactly what the registry store requires and let the hostess know as well to pass the information along.

2. Ask at least two friends with babies to look at the "store approved" list.  
They will be delighted to share their experiences and save other from making the same ignorant mistakes.  Obviously, we all have our preferences, personalities, and parenting styles that alter your personal list.  But many of the extraneous "must haves" are gravy and I wouldn't waste a dime on them.

3. Be a product review fiend.
Like most newbies I sort of assumed that if the store sold it, how bad could it be?  Bad.  Very bad, in fact.  When you read product reviews you have a better understanding of different dimensions you might not think about before Junior gets home.  

For example, the first travel system (infant carrier, car base, and stroller) we registered for and were gifted was a middle of the line brand that seemed fine in the store.  Little did I know that the carrier was ridiculously long and didn't fit in the back seat, or that the stroller rolled like a busted Walmart cart.  Reading reviews later revealed what I had to find out the hard way.  Items to carefully review include strollers, breast pumps, play yards, high chairs, and especially car seats.      

4. Stay within bounds of what you need.
This is no time to get greedy.  Friends don't like to buy for people who register for $600 Cadillac strollers and Wii game systems.  Stick with the necessities and don't take advantage of the situation.

My precious 10-month-old is quickly approaching her first birthday. The first year has been a roller coaster ride of experiences, but I'd have to say the biggest quandary in babydom has been the multitude of folks who've inquired about her first birthday party. For a one-year-old.

If you have been planning the party of the year for your little drooler, I don't mean to leave your cake out in the rain. But I tend to lump pre-verbal birthday bashes in with toddler fashion shows. There's something very displacing and parent-centered about the both ordeals.

The most disconcerting aspect of not just baby, but all child celebrations is the money spent. Between $200-400 bucks on average are spent for every party. If you have four kids that's $1000 each year. If parties are an absolute must, at least be reasonable with your checkbook and follow some guidelines for yourself:

• Parties for children under 2 are for you, not your children.
  As long as you can accept that and are content to have a party for yourself, enjoy. Since we've been mercilessly railed at for protesting the one-year cake eating photo-op, we will have a small family gathering with some angel food cake and strawberries. Kiddo can dive into a $10 dessert rather than a fancy $30 custom made thing. Grandmothers can get their picture and adorn the one-year-old with a couple of gifts to spare our friends from having to bring something.
• Don't try to outdo the Joneses.
  Maybe Princess next door got five clowns, a petting zoo, or a trip for 10 to Libby Lou. What you don't see is that her ego is probably as inflated as that bounce house daddy rented. I've even been to a 6-year-old American Idol Bash where parents rented a stage and had t-shirts made for all the guests.
  
  Temperance can be excruciatingly hard for your little one to understand, but it's crucial for her to have some perspective about yearly celebrations. Start small--limit guests to one for each year (5 year olds may have 5 friends come) and keep it as small as possible so you don't disappoint the following year.
• DIY decorations and food.
  Store-bought cakes can be as high as $50. And they don't even taste that good. Learn how to make your child's favorite cake and invite him to design it. He will have much more fun for 80% less. Let kids make their own invitations on the computer.
  
  Opt for hot dogs and chips. You'll want to cut the hot dogs in half for little children and give them more if they finish. But don't forget to ask about allergens to wheat, peanuts, lactose, etc. so you can have an alternative available. Blow your own balloons, hang streamers, and blow up a few beach balls for summer fun.

While I never understood the purpose of wedding showers, I've always loved baby showers. The little arrival legitimately needs a host of gadgets, clothing, and sleeping tools that friends and family love to bestow upon the expectant family. My biggest problem with them is the expected cost of these parties--upwards of $450 bucks. Not to mention your personal gift for the mom-to-be.

This expenditure is outrageous in my book. Junior won't benefit one iota from fancy teacakes and pink M&M party favors. If you are going to spend money on a shower, put as much as you can toward actual baby gifts and not so much on professional invitations.

By following these tips you can host a baby shower for under $120.

• Decorations are easy to display for cheap. Try to make as many of them double as gifts. Buy two packs of onesies in bright colors and hang along a clothesline. To add some flair, print gender appropriate designs to stick on the clothespins. Diaper cakes are not only expected at a shower, but also make useful gifts. How to Make Stuff has specific instructions on making an attractive diaper cake. Ask your guests to bring a small bath toy, pacifier, or bottle to place on the cake when they arrive. Use butcher paper to cover tables and criss-cross clearance ribbon on the top for an inexpensive and eye-catching display. Sprinkle tiny, flower shaped sugar sprinkles on the butcher paper to add flair.
  Total cost for decorations: $60
• Opt for an Evite rather than traditional invitations. Before you balk, think about RSVPs. People don't call ahead now. If you send an electronic invite guests are forced to respond and you can plan the party better. The host can also include links to registry items and any other instructions for the shower...for free!
• A quick stroll down the baby shower aisle leaves you wanting more in the favor department. Most people don't even eat the pillow mints anyway. Make your own personalized cookies for cheap. Mix the dough with a rolled sugar cookie recipe and roll out to cut with a onesie t-shirt cutter. Ice the cookies in blue, pink, or neutral colors with royal icing (a mixture of powdered sugar and water), then bag in cellophane. Bake two days before the party and ice them one day before. Your guests will love the extra TLC touch and they'll be far tastier than those stinky mini lotions.
  Total cost: $7
• Games are a huge hit in my book. They bring a group of people who may or may not be acquainted with each other together for a laugh. My favorite baby shower games are:
  

Even the most prudent, future thinking parents who buy diapers seven months out and regularly hit the 75% off aisles at Baby Mart would agree on one thing.  When the kiddo arrives, you are willing to spend anything in the name of peace.  Whatever gadget, soother, clothing, or toy will make your baby sleep better, eat better, and think better will claim your paycheck.  You will spend ruthlessly without abandon.  Take it from a mom who's been there--print this out and take it with you to Infant Kingdom before dipping into your 401K.

1. Ask your doctor for formula samples.
Pediatricians (and some obstetricians) get formula samples by the truckload.  Especially the hospital where you deliver.  They need to give it away, so be polite and offer to help them.  I get one or two small cans of Enfamil Gentlease (retail $13.99) for free during each visit.  No, you are not a moocher, just ask for it and they'll gladly send it home with you.  For all the first year doctor visits fees you incur it's wise to take advantage of a few perks.

2. Take everything but the toilet bowl from the hospital.
If you used it, take it.  Cooling pads, the Sitz bath, diapers and wipes in the bassinets, blankets, and thermometer will be charged to you anyway, so load them up.  Most hospitals also offer good coupons for baby products you'll actually need.  My nurse sent home two kits with tons of formula placed in a bag I still use for travel.  And if you plan to breastfeed ask as many questions as you can while hospitalized--most facilities charge extra for phone call queries post discharge that your insurance may or may not cover.  

3. Kindly, but assertively, request gift receipts.
My deepest, most regretful apologies for the stupid blankets and rubber ducks I bought for friends in the past.  First born had a drawer and a half worth of blankets that she absolutely never needed.  Don't give stuffed animals as gifts unless you don't like the mom-to-be.  To make matters worse, most stores like Target and Babies 'R Us have strict policies that do not allow for any returns unaccompanied by a receipt.  Period.  Even if it was on your registry.  Too bad.  Walmart also has a limit of three annual transactions sans receipt per person.  It is critical that you keep a record of payment due to the sneaky new policies.

4. Buy strollers from Craigslist.
Many a parent rarely uses the behemoth travel system stroller.  As soon as Pumpkin is old enough to sit up, the umbrella stroller is so much easier.  The most worn excuse for getting the giant cruiser is for trips to the zoo.  Unless you are a weekly attendee, purchasing a gently used model (especially a jogger) will do no harm.  Browse Craigslist to see what I mean--"used twice", "never got back into running", and "prefer a light-weight stroller" are frequent comments.

Don't be lured by the newest baby-smartening thing on the market.  Chances are it won't work anyway and you'll be out another $29.99.  For centuries babies have grown and even survived sans the electronic Touch and Learn Puppy and Baby Einstein Videos.  The following baby items can easily be reproduced at home with little cost to you.

1. Buckle Teddy Bear
I love the learning opportunities of the Gund Teach me Teddy Bear.  Your toddler can practice tying shoes, buttoning sleeves, zipping zippers and more with this loveable teddy.  But with some thread and old buckles, you can outfit a loved animal with the same bells and whistles.  Cut up old purse buckles, belt buckles, plastic buckles, spare buttons, and gift-wrap string to sow to your bear.  Make sure you have firmly secured each addition to the teddy to avoid choking hazards.

2. Soft Baby Wipes
Creating your own wipes at home assures you won't be using harsh, over-drying chemicals on your baby's soft skin--plus it saves you a lot of money each month.  Cut a roll of paper towels in half (my favorite is the plush Bounty or Viva) and toss the cardboard insert.  Mix together, but don't shake, 2 cups of water, 2 tbsp baby oil, and 2 tbsp baby wash in an airtight container or gallon Ziplock bag.  Pour the mixture over the half roll of paper towels and let sit for an hour so the liquid absorbs.  Each full roll will last between 2-3 weeks as opposed to one week with a regular package.

3. Pack 'n Play Sheets
My mom, being the true engineer that she is, had a great idea for making sheets for our well-used Pack 'n Play after seeing a poorly made version for $9.99 at the store.  She took an old, torn sheet and made two giant pillowcases that slip over the mat.  Not only was it a perfect use of recycling but the new sheet was super soft from being washed so many times and can be rotated around the mat to save constant washing.

4. Bubble Bath
Always err on the safe side when making something that will coat baby's skin.  That being said, it's incredibly easy to make an organic, chemical-free wash for your baby bath.  Combine 1 cup milk, 1/4 cup cornstarch, 1/4 cup ground oats (processed), and 2-3 drops scented oil into a bottle.  Sprinkle a bit into the bath, and maybe even hop in yourself, for a refreshing and natural cleanse.

If you are cramped for space or don’t have the “required” $2,000 nursery budget, you can still provide for baby without causing psychological damage. Take it from a master over-buyer that many of your baby products can do double duty. 

1. Diaper Changing Table
I assumed that a diaper changing table was an absolute necessity when preparing for our first arrival.  And it had to match the crib.  The truth is most changing tables and dressers are cheaply made and serve little purpose after five months.  After my active girl maneuvered the roll-over, trying to keep her on her back was like manhandling a cat.  She also loved preparing uneven bar routines using the sides of the table.  After I started changing her diaper on my bed or the carpet, the baskets I put in place of the cushy foam insert looked silly.  

Buy a sturdy dresser, preferably used, and refinish or paint it.  Junior will be able to use it for far longer and it will be more durable.  If you’re dying to have an official diaper changing station, you can purchase a frame to attach on top.  I recommend using a diaper caddy to tote around the house for portable changing.

2. Crib
If you’re strapped for cash, space, or especially if you have an unexpected arrival shortly after your first, consider purchasing a portable playpen to double as a safe play area for baby and sleeping quarters.  The Graco model we purchased has a higher insert (to save your back) and a bassinet.  The good thing about a portable crib is your child will be accustomed to sleeping in it and won’t be as disjointed during travel.  Our next child is coming just fifteen months after our first and I plan on putting the new addition in the playpen bassinet for quite some time.  

Beware of outgrowing beds!  Rather than buying a crib, then toddler bed, next the twin bed, go straight from the crib to full bed or bunk beds if you plan on having more than one child.  Try to delay the switch until close to three-years-old.  Install a rail around the full bed for safety purposes.  By purchasing a full bed or bunk beds you’ll have more room for guests without having to devote an entire room to it.   

3. Stroller
The stroller market is a racket and should be recognized for what it is—a money sucking, guilt inducing trap.  Here’s a secret: you don’t really need the giant travel system with car seat and cruise ship stroller.  You probably won’t be going out enough in the first four or five months to warrant the purchase.  Buy an upscale (or even cheapy) umbrella stroller for a fraction of the price.  Your trunk and fellow shoppers will love you for it.  Depending on the neck strength of your little one, he can sit upright in a stroller as soon as five or six months.  For households with more than one child under three buy a side by side umbrella stroller.

A friend I know will return to work this fall for the sole purpose of getting insurance to have a baby. She absolutely hates her job, but is willing to grin and bear it for the health care. If you plan to go commando and pay out of pocket for a hospital baby delivery, you'll pay a whopping $13,000 on average. Up to $10,000 more for a Cesarean section. That's a big ouch in more than one way.

Then the baby incurs additional hospital fees ranging from $1,500-4,000. The financial ruin doesn't stop here. The pediatrician wants to monitor his every move and insists on seeing the new baby 5-6 times in the first six months. But before you opt for a tubal ligation there are many ways to reduce the cost of delivery without dependency on workplace welfare.

Hospital Delivery
It is a little known secret that doctors and hospitals are willing to negotiate services for people without insurance. They treat so many patients who are delinquent on hospital bills that they're eager to work out individual solutions for bills. However, if you fail to file with your insurance to make a deal, don't expect to be able to file in the future.

A quick query on any major search engine will proclaim that babies cost upwards of $10,581 during their first year of life. When my husband first saw this figure he came close to weeping. This doesn't include delivery charges or doctor visits either. What it does factor in are many adjustable costs that can decrease with preparation. Do babies really need to cost that much? The following list includes big-ticket items calculated in this figure and how you can reduce them.

1. Eliminate day care costs
A moderately priced facility will charge a minimum of $750 per month for infant childcare. Consider pursuing a part time job or work-from-home position to help reduce this cost. Factor in your work attire, lunches out, and gas to and from work--chances are, you'll be a wiser deal-shopper and more frugally minded staying at home. You might not be profiting as much as you think. And you get to watch your little one change and grow each day! As for preschool, you are more than qualified to teach your child his colors and numbers. Spend a day or two a week with friends who have kids or a toddler play group if you are concerned about socialization.

2. Try to breastfeed
If you're new to Babyland, I invite you to look at the cost of formula. At nearly $25 per can, your young one's food bill comes close to your own.  You'll need 4-5 cans per month (at least). Yes, breastfeeding usually brings the need for a pump, storage containers, and other disposables, but your savings dramatically increase with subsequent children. Breastfeeding is not always a walk in the park, but it is the best source of nourishment for your baby and it can't hurt to try.

If you are a first time mom-to-be, just strap on a giant target and get ready to be taken advantage of.  Marketing gurus know that raging hormones and nesting impulses are a perfect recipe for high credit card mileage.

They even offer "registry assistants" at the baby megaplex who are exceedingly helpful and eager to reassure you that yes, indeed, you need a special stirrer to "integrate" the formula and water.  When beholding rows of shiny, colored food accessories it's hard to remember that a spoon would blend the formula just fine.

New moms beware: reign in the beast to steer clear of serious overspending and buyers remorse. Consider avoiding the following products:

1. Wipe Warmer
My Mommy and Me playgroup would shoot me for heresy, but I am willing to be the lone voice of reason. Wipe warmers are a hassle! The one I have requires that I purchase a special sponge that I must saturate with water once a week. They have to be replaced every couple of months; it is yet another gadget to maintain and keep up with. And when you are out and about, little precious has no choice but to submit to inhumane treatment with a cold, frigid wipe. A regular container is sufficient for your baby's rear end.  If you are still concerned about long term psychological damage, rub the wipes together with your hands to warm them up and save the cash.

2. New Breast Pump
The key word here is "new".  Before you fly into a germiphobe fit, think about the cost of a store-bought pump (that actually gets the job done).  Unless your mother-in-law is dead set on making sure her grandbaby has a brand new machine, look on Craigslist. I bought my Medela pump that retailed $350 for just $80 from a mom down the highway who used it a few times.  Large baby stores sell the plastic parts that go with the pump if you are concerned about hygiene.